"The concept is simple: Point out something mundane to your partner, like spotting a bird, then watch how they react. If your partner matches your enthusiasm or reacts with curiosity, then congratulations-they're a keeper. The thinking goes that if they respond with interest to your attempts at connection, they're emotionally invested in the relationship. If they ignore you, react with indifference-or worse, get frustrated-well, your relationship might be in trouble."
""The day I realize Husband doesn't want me" the caption read, as the clip shows her trying, and failing, to engage her husband's attention. The video currently has over 56 million views. "Before anyone gets married please test the bird theory," one commenter wrote. "I keep telling people about the bird theory and they just won't listen," another added. Many have also jumped on the trend to test their unwitting partners, mostly to positive results."
The bird theory asks partners to point out a mundane observation, like a bird, and observe the partner's reaction to gauge emotional investment. Viral videos showcasing the test have amassed tens of millions of views and encouraged people to try the trend on partners. Enthusiastic or curious reactions are taken as signs of engagement and emotional connection. Indifference, dismissal, or irritation are seen as warning signs for relationship strain. The concept aligns with John Gottman's research identifying 'bids' as the fundamental unit of emotional communication and showing that turning toward bids predicts better long-term outcomes.
Read at Fast Company
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