Bids for Reconnection: How to Reach Out to Old Friends

"The New Year is generally a time for reflection, where we think about our lives in years past and, inevitably, the people in them. Today, we are privileged in that reconnecting with those acquaintances, childhood classmates, or former colleagues after years is not only possible, but, thanks to living in the digital age, easy to do. While reaching out to old friends can lead to genuine, meaningful renewal, sometimes, a "blast from the past" can also provoke discomfort, confusion, or emotional fatigue instead."

"In psychological terms, when we reach out to someone from the past, we are offering a "bid for reconnection." A "bid" is any gesture that seeks to initiate contact, engagement, or closeness. It can be as simple as a message, a question, or a shared memory. In the context of reconnection, a bid is an attempt to bridge a lapse in communication and re-enter someone's life, often without context or clarity about whether such contact is welcome."

"While some bids are genuine and reciprocal, others are transactional, performative, or even emotionally manipulative. If you are eager to reconnect with someone this New Year, the intent, timing, and emotional awareness will make the difference in how your bid is received. If You Are Reaching Out: How to Make a Thoughtful Bid Writing to an old friend after time apart requires emotional intelligence along with the acceptance that the other person may not want to re-engage, a"

The New Year often prompts reflection about past relationships and people. Digital tools make reconnecting with acquaintances, classmates, and former colleagues easy. Reaching out can produce meaningful renewal or cause discomfort, confusion, and emotional fatigue. Such outcomes depend on the content of the message and the sender's emotional awareness. A reconnection attempt functions as a "bid"—any gesture seeking contact, engagement, or closeness, such as a message, question, or shared memory. Some bids are genuine and reciprocal; others are transactional, performative, or manipulative. Intent, timing, and emotional intelligence affect reception. Thoughtful bids include acknowledgment, curiosity, respect, and acceptance that the other may decline.

Read at Psychology Today