At My Suggestion, My Husband Got a Vasectomy. Now It's the Biggest Regret of Our Lives.

Post-vasectomy pain syndrome can cause painful erections and can severely affect sexual activity and intimacy. The partner’s urging for a vasectomy does not make the later complications their fault, because the procedure was agreed to by the husband and he likely received information about possible complications. Pain after vasectomy is real and has treatments. Vasectomy reversal has been associated with improved pain for most people who undergo it, often reported in the 80–90% range. Nonsurgical options include acupuncture and various medicines. If the husband has not followed up with his doctor, he is overdue for evaluation and treatment.

"Post-vasectomy pain syndrome is real and painful erections are one way it presents. There are treatments for it, and I wonder if your husband has looked into them. Several studies have shown an improvement in pain as a result of a vasectomy reversal for the vast amount of people who undergo that second procedure (the numbers are typically in the 80 and 90 percent range). Nonsurgical treatments include acupuncture and a variety of medicines. If your husband hasn't followed up with his doctor, he's overdue."

"The botched surgery was not your fault. This is a procedure that your husband willingly signed on for and was likely given a rundown of potential complications. I understand why you feel responsible, and I believe it comes from a place of compassion, but just know that you shouldn't base your own life decisions on something that you ultimately suggested and had no real control over."

Read at Slate Magazine