Asking for a friend: I've caught feelings for the guy I've been having a fling with. It's been mostly just sexual but I think we could be more. Should I risk telling him?

"I have been having a little fling with a guy I met over Christmas but now I've gotten feelings and he hasn't. I'm gutted. I was happy to be sort of friends with benefits, but I didn't expect to have any romantic feelings. He's just perfect and we have such a good time together, but he made it clear at the start that that was all it would be."

"I feel devastated at the thought of telling him and then losing him. It's so stressful even thinking about it. My friends think I should just stop seeing him but I'm not sure that I can. I know most of what we have done has just been sexual, but I think we have potential for something really good as we get on so well. My head feels melted and sometimes I feel like telling him in the moment, but I stop myself."

"I don't want to get your hopes up, but you don't know that he hasn't also developed feelings. He may have but is choosing to keep it quiet because he thinks that you haven't. Basically, you could both be in the exact same position, and what a waste that would be if you both want the same thing but just didn't tell each other."

A casual fling begun over Christmas has developed into unreciprocated romantic feelings for one person while the partner initially set clear boundaries for a purely physical arrangement. The person feels devastated at the idea of confessing feelings and then losing the relationship, and friends advise stopping contact despite reluctance to do so. The person believes there is potential for a deeper relationship because they get on well beyond sex and alternates between wanting to confess and holding back. The partner may also have hidden feelings and mutual silence could prevent a possible shared relationship from forming.

Read at Independent