"Our niece (my husband's brother's daughter) is expecting her first child. While we are very happy for her, the way she announced her news, and some of her past actions, have affected my feelings toward her as they had directly impacted me, my husband and our kids. This niece announced her pregnancy to us (via FaceTime, as she doesn't live locally) at a family birthday dinner that was held for the combined birthdays of her father and our son."
"Apparently, everyone at the dinner knew of our niece's pregnancy and how she was to announce it, except for us. To add insult, the birthday present our niece gave to our son was a faux lottery scratcher that revealed the message We are pregnant. This niece doesn't visit often due to work and they're always fleeting visits but when she does she never forewarns us, but tells her father, sister, grandparents and friends."
"My plan is to decline attending when the official invitation arrives but to send a small gift. At that time, I'll also explain to my mother-in-law only why I won't be participating. I'm interested in your thoughts. Excluded Aunt Dear Aunt: While you're certainly under no obligation to go to the shower, I'm not sure that declining and telling your mother-in-law about your grievances is going to solve your problem. Instead, it's more likely to pull her unnecessarily into a conflict that doesn't involve her."
The niece announced her pregnancy by FaceTime during a birthday dinner combining her father's and the family's son's celebrations, surprising the son and other relatives who were kept uninformed. She revealed the news with a faux lottery scratcher given to the son. The niece rarely visits, and when she does she notifies select relatives but not the household, despite repeated requests to be forewarned. The mother-in-law plans to host a baby shower, and the household plans to decline attendance while sending a small gift. Advice cautions that declining and explaining grievances to the mother-in-law risks pulling her into an unrelated family conflict.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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