"Dear Eric: My mother-in-law, Dana, 79, was married for 51 years before her husband passed six years ago. She visits us frequently. When she does, she stays at our house or with one of my husband's sisters. Within the last six months, Dana began dating a senior gentleman, Peter. Apparently, they knew each other in high school and recently reconnected. As of this writing, only the two sisters have met Peter."
"I told my husband I would not feel comfortable hosting them in our home over the holiday weekend. We have only one guest room. I think my sisters-in-law feel the same. My nephew said he does not like the idea of someone, not his grandfather, staying in their home at all, especially for the holiday break. Again, I'm not in disagreement. Meanwhile, Dana is upset because she feels no one is giving Peter a chance."
"I suggested that they stay at a hotel, but she feels that we should be more accommodating to them, especially since they will be traveling to our area via train and neither will have local transportation. I feel it's a lot to ask to include someone else who is essentially a stranger to us in our homes. I'm sure Peter is a nice man, and my mother-in-law enjoys his company, but am I, or my sisters-in-law, being unreasonable? Crowded House"
A 79-year-old widow recently began dating and wants to bring her companion to meet family for Thanksgiving. Family members are reluctant to host due to limited guest space and unfamiliarity with the new companion. The widow objects to a hotel suggestion because the couple will arrive by train and lack local transportation. Homeowners can set boundaries based on comfort and capacity while also acknowledging the widow's grief, need for companionship, and potential vulnerability. The situation calls for empathy, clear communication, and practical compromises such as introductions before overnight stays or arranging nearby lodging and transportation.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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