The relationship between the writer and her son is strained due to his contentious feelings toward his ex-wife. The son believes it is disrespectful for the writer to communicate with his ex, despite her being the mother of his children. This extreme stance is causing negative implications for both the grandchildren and the writer. The writer is encouraged to focus on fostering her relationship with her son and finding ways to stay connected with her grandchildren, while respecting her son's boundaries regarding his ex-wife.
Your son's edict about his ex's name is too extreme. She's the mother of his children; she's not going to stop existing.
This kind of behavior suggests that he's not navigating his divorce in a healthy way. But unfortunately, that's a problem he needs to solve on his own.
Focus instead on the immediate need: You want to be a part of your grandchildren's lives, and you need him to communicate with you better.
Knowing what you want will help guide the conversation to a productive outcome and improve relationships.
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