"The punishment doesn't fit the crime. Banishment is too extreme. However, it's worth looking at what's happening outside of the frame. First, the word disrespectful was tossed around a lot. Is it possible that your daughter-in-law felt you were criticizing her parenting in an unwarranted way? This isn't to say that the kids should have been punching their uncle. It wouldn't have been my choice. But Uncle Rick also has bodily autonomy and may have chosen not to stop them because he didn't mind."
"One hopes that your stepson and daughter-in-law are teaching their children how to play safely and respectfully (and without violence). But even if they've missed the mark on this one, it may be for family unity for you to agree to disagree and tell your daughter-in-law that you didn't mean to malign her parenting and you'd like to start over."
A blended family gathered for a grandchild's birthday where children aged five to nine repeatedly punched their uncle in the stomach. A guest called the hitting disrespectful, provoking the daughter-in-law who defended the children as playing and then banished the critic from the family home. The punishment was judged disproportionate to the remark. Consideration was raised that the daughter-in-law may have felt unfairly criticized about her parenting. The children should not be allowed to punch an adult, but the uncle may have consented. A conciliatory apology and agreement to disagree can help restore relations.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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