"Sure, it's possible. It'll be even more likely to happen if your friend and her boyfriend have an honest, frank conversation about their wants and the details of their individual timetables. While it might seem obvious that, after 20 years, he should want to propose, especially considering he's already designed a dream wedding, the only way to find out what he's really thinking is talking to him about it. This is also the only way for your friend to let him know what she's thinking."
"Often in long-term relationships, we start to assume our partners have enough data to be mind readers. And sometimes, too, we assume we know every neuron firing in the head resting on the opposite pillow. But, of course, that's not fully true. Even if someone wants to have a surprise proposal, and all the fanfare that that entails, it's crucial for the health of the relationship to keep lines of communication open."
After two decades together, a partner who has planned a wedding may still not propose; explicit conversations about marriage desires and personal timelines are necessary to learn partners' true intentions. Long-term couples often assume mutual knowledge and mind-reading, which overlooks private doubts and differing expectations. Even when one partner prefers a surprise proposal, maintaining open communication remains essential for relationship health. Separately, family members may decide events like a college graduation without consulting all relatives; an uninvolved uncle may choose not to attend and feel no obligation to participate in events that are not his own.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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