"For years, I'd been sitting at home wondering why I had nothing to do. Was everyone hanging out without me? Was I socially inept in ways I hadn't realized? But once I began trying in earnest, I realized it was something else: no one was planning anything, not really."
"In those efforts, I was met with an incredible amount of enthusiasm. I filtered out the people who regularly flaked on me and prioritized those who seemed most enthusiastic about being there. I realized the value of what I call "joiners": friends who try to say "yes" as often as possible are the fuel for the hosting fire. However, planning does take its toll My husband and I regularly spend a full day preparing to host, but the whole thing feels sacred in a way."
After moving for a spouse's job, loneliness prompted active efforts to meet people through classes and networking. Making plans with people who appealed led to stronger connections because few others initiated gatherings. Enthusiastic participants were prioritized while frequent flakers were filtered out. The concept of 'joiners'—people who say yes often—proved essential to successful hosting. Hosting requires substantial preparation and energy, often taking a full day, but is treated as an investment in creating community and potential lifelong friendships. There remains concern about sustainability and whether others will take on planning roles.
Read at Business Insider
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