"Why? When we anticipate dire outcomes, we inadvertently behave in ways that signal our beliefs. For example, if you think someone might not be too happy to see you when you arrive, you might dial down your enthusiasm in seeing him or her. You might be tentative or even cool when your eyes meet, or even avoid greeting that person entirely."
"Are you dreading Thanksgiving? Are you anticipating casual conversations becoming dicey once the wine is uncorked? Do you envision arguments about politics no matter how many times you've requested these discussions be off-limits? Are you holding your breath, just waiting for criticisms that hit below the belt? Have you been thinking that family gatherings feel obligatory and stressful? If your answer to any of these questions is "Yes," I have a suggestion: Why not try a new approach?"
Anticipating negative family interactions before Thanksgiving can shape behavior in ways that make those expectations come true. Expecting a cold reception may reduce visible enthusiasm, cause tentative or cool greetings, or lead to avoidance. Those subtle signals can prompt recipients to feel slighted and respond with unfriendliness, snark, or withdrawal. The dynamic produces a self-fulfilling prophecy that perpetuates unhappy gatherings. A different approach can break the pattern. One recommended strategy is to act "As If" by envisioning a positive interaction and behaving warmly, thereby disrupting negative expectations and changing others' responses.
Read at Psychology Today
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]