"Long-term relationships aren't easy. No matter how compatible two people might be, inevitably, there will be times when differences in opinions lead to arguments. Conflict, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. In fact, when handled well, it can lead to greater intimacy because partners feel heard, understood, and respected, essential ingredients for a solid emotional connection. On the other hand, hurtful conversations are divisive and can corrode the foundation of any relationship over time."
"Research suggests that more than two-thirds of what couples argue about is unresolvable. Whether it's differences in parenting styles or disparate beliefs about the division of labor around the house, the importance of sex, how money is spent, and so on, the truth is, couples will never see eye-to-eye on some hot issues. But that doesn't stop us from relentlessly trying to persuade our partners."
Long-term relationships inevitably involve disagreements, and conflict can either strengthen or damage connection depending on how it is handled. Hurtful conversations corrode relationship foundations over time. Couples should learn to avoid potential arguments and to stop escalating conflicts early. Much of couple conflict—over parenting, division of labor, sex, money—is unresolvable, yet partners repeatedly attempt to persuade one another. Familiar interaction patterns lead to automatic, predictable fights. Breaking these patterns requires changing habitual responses, doing less of the same, calming down before reacting, and adopting alternative approaches to prevent unproductive, recurring arguments.
Read at Psychology Today
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