5 Common Myths About Family Estrangement

"Oprah recently hosted a powerful conversation on family estrangement and the choice to go no-contact. Shortly after, the New York Times ran a piece titled "Life Is Too Short to Fight With Your Family," 1 which only amplified the public discussion. Since then, I've noticed a wave of commentary-some helpful, but some unfortunately deeply misinformed. In my work with survivors of abusive, neglectful, or chronically unsafe families, I hear the same misconceptions again and again. Many of these ideas minimize survivors' experiences and mischaracterize what estrangement actually is."

"Family estrangement is not a fad; nor is it a moral decline provoked by a social-media-inspired movement. Therapists know that estrangement has existed across generations, but what's new is that people finally feel safer being open and honest about having had this experience. Research does show that people being open about estrangement has increased 2. However, this is largely due to the fact that in previous eras, people stayed silent because of stigma, religious pressure, financial dependence, or cultural expectations."

"Many of my clients in older generations suffered quietly, unable to tell anyone about their abuse or strained relationships. Now, survivors have language, community, and support systems that make this disclosure possible."

Conversations often portray family estrangement and no-contact as recent social trends, which minimizes survivor experiences and mischaracterizes motives. Estrangement has existed across generations, but disclosure has increased because stigma, religious pressure, financial dependence, and cultural expectations previously silenced people. Survivors of abusive, neglectful, or chronically unsafe families frequently choose no-contact thoughtfully to protect themselves and prevent repeating harmful patterns. Openness about estrangement is rising as people gain language, community, and support systems that enable disclosure and boundary-setting. Many misconceptions portray estrangement as impulsive or morally wrong, but clinical experience shows careful decision-making rooted in safety and self-preservation.

Read at Psychology Today