3 Traps That Can Derail Couples Therapy

"Most police officers will tell you that domestic disputes are among the most dangerous calls they answer. In a similar way, most therapists-myself included-would say that couples counseling is one of the most challenging and unpredictable forms of therapy we provide. After decades in the field, I've learned that couples therapy comes with unique pitfalls that can derail progress before it even begins. Here are a few of the most common traps couples fall into when they walk through the therapy door."

"1. "Why Are We Here?" Syndrome It's common for only one partner to genuinely want counseling. The other may be attending because of an ultimatum, a sense of obligation, or simply to be able to say, "We tried everything." When one person is invested and the other is simply complying, therapy becomes a lopsided experience. Not only does this lower the chance of success, it can actually create new problems in the relationship."

Domestic disputes rank among the most dangerous police calls, and couples counseling is especially challenging and unpredictable. Couples therapy contains unique pitfalls that can derail progress before it begins. Common traps include mismatched motivation when only one partner genuinely wants counseling, turning therapy into a lopsided experience that reduces the chance of success and can create new problems. Entering therapy determined to change or fix the other person fuels blame, rounds of attack and defense, and growing resentment. Many couples label communication as the core problem, yet frequent but dysfunctional interactions often mask deeper emotional pain. Individual work can enhance couple work.

Read at Psychology Today