"Emotionally mature partners take good care of their own emotions and remain sensitive to yours. You feel safe around them. You can speak your thoughts out loud without the fear of being judged or belittled, and express when you're hurt without questioning whether it will be used against you. During an argument, they don't lash out or stonewall. They listen with curiosity instead of being defensive."
"For instance, suppose you've said, "I felt disregarded at the team dinner last night when you spent more time on your colleagues than with me." An emotionally intelligent partner will not retort with, "That's not the case, you're being overly dramatic." Instead, they might pause for a second and then inquire, "Can you help me see what made you feel that way?""
An emotionally mature partner creates emotional safety by managing their own emotions while remaining sensitive to a partner's feelings. They allow open expression without judgment, respond to hurt with curiosity rather than defensiveness, and avoid lashing out or stonewalling during conflicts. They own mistakes without blaming, use words and actions thoughtfully, and prioritize understanding over winning arguments. In concrete examples, they pause, ask clarifying questions like "Can you help me see what made you feel that way?", and take accountability where due. A 2021 Frontiers in Psychology study found individuals high in emotional intelligence employed strategies such as cognitive reappraisal.
Read at Psychology Today
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