2 Ways the 'Ick' Problem Is Ruining Modern Dating

"Even when your intentions are clear, it's common to let assumptions dictate your dating choices, which can create a gap between perception and reality. Tinder's 2024 Green Flags Study found that both men and women often hold the assumption that they want different things in relationships. About 8,000 heterosexual singles across the U.S., U.K., Australia, and Canada were studied. The survey found that young daters often misinterpret green flags as red flags, misjudging intentions in stereotypical ways."

"In the survey, 65 percent of women assumed men were seeking casual flings, whereas in reality, only 29 percent of men reported this. Both men and women stated that they desire meaningful relationships and equal partnerships (78 percent of men and 84 percent of women). However, miscommunication and assumptions kept them from seeing that alignment. The survey results showed that their goals and desires overlapped far more than they realized."

"This assumption gap points out something important: you may miss the chance to develop something real simply because you build narratives around the initial assumptions you've made about the other person, rather than paying attention to what they're actually saying in real life. This has created an assumption problem, as the survey highlights. Instead of seeing people as complex, we reduce them to checklists of " icks:" small behaviors or quirks that people consider instant turn-offs."

Tinder's 2024 Green Flags Study surveyed about 8,000 heterosexual singles across the U.S., U.K., Australia, and Canada. Young daters often misinterpret green flags as red flags and misjudge intentions in stereotypical ways. Sixty-five percent of women assumed men sought casual flings, while only 29 percent of men reported that. Both genders reported wanting meaningful relationships and equal partnerships (78 percent of men, 84 percent of women), yet miscommunication and assumptions obscured this alignment. An assumption gap leads people to build narratives around first impressions rather than listen. The prevalence of 'icks' turns potential partners into checklists and can kill promising connections.

Read at Psychology Today