"Most people in relationships try to strike a delicate balance between being their real selves and their best selves. You want to show your partner who you truly are, but you also want to protect how they see you. You want to be honest, but not too raw. You want to admit to your mistakes, but not lose face. This inner tug-of-war can lead us to do strange things."
"Imagine this: you splurge on something expensive, but you used money from the shared account. The guilt sets in, and you decide to tell your partner. But instead of saying everything, you only admit part of it. You say you "overspent a little," or that "something came up." You don't lie, but you also don't tell the whole truth, either."
People in relationships balance showing their true selves with protecting their image, aiming for honesty without excessive vulnerability. That inner tug-of-war can produce self-protective behaviors that feel right short-term but cause long-term harm. One common behavior is partial confession: admitting only the comfortable parts of a transgression to ease conscience and soften emotional fallout. Partial confessions allow someone to appear honest while withholding facts that shift the burden onto the partner. Such omissions preserve immediate peace but erode trust and accountability, making the partner carry hidden weight and undermining intimacy over time.
Read at Psychology Today
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