There Is a Clear Next Step for My Aging Parents. My Mother Is Furious at Me for Even Suggesting It.

"Recently, I went back to my childhood home to visit my parents. They are in their 70s and living in one of the highest-taxed states. My father designed and built their beautiful home, but after 40 years with no remodels and my mother not being a very clean person, it is falling apart: The kitchen floors and hardwood are coming up, the cabinets are collapsing, the water pressure is nonexistent, and the deck is starting to separate from the house."

"My father cannot make the repairs anymore and has wanted to leave the state. He is tired of paying high taxes for a school district we no longer use. They live on the East Coast on the border of the state, so they can move 20 minutes away and make their retirement much nicer by not pinching pennies to pay taxes. My mother refuses. She screams at me, says I am making things worse for her and my father, and claims I am selfish."

An adult child visited elderly parents living in a high-tax state and found a decades-old, father-built home deteriorating from lack of remodels and maintenance. The father can no longer perform repairs and wants to move 20 minutes away to lower taxes and improve retirement affordability. The mother refuses to sell, reacts angrily, and accuses the child of being selfish. Religious commitment prevents separation, so the father will not leave without his wife. The child fears inheriting a devaluating property and potential demolition costs and is now estranged from the mother over the dispute.

Read at Slate Magazine