What no one warns you about turning 65 is that it's not your body that changes first-it's the way people start talking to you like you've already disappeared - Silicon Canals

"Last week, I watched a waiter completely bypass my friend's father at dinner, turning instead to his adult son to ask, "What would he like to order?" The man sitting right there, perfectly capable of choosing between salmon and steak, had somehow become invisible. He's 67, sharp as ever, runs his own consulting firm, yet in that moment, he'd been reduced to a ghost at his own table. This scene stuck with me because I've been noticing it everywhere lately."

"You know what's fascinating? We prepare people for the physical changes of aging. We talk about retirement planning, Medicare, keeping active. But nobody mentions how overnight, you go from being asked for your opinion to having decisions made for you. From being consulted to being managed. I first really noticed this with my own father before he passed. One day he was the guy everyone turned to for advice about investments and business decisions. Then seemingly overnight, people started talking about him instead of to him."

Everyday interactions increasingly render many older adults invisible and less agentic, even when they remain capable and engaged. Subtle shifts include being bypassed in conversation, addressed indirectly, or having decisions made on their behalf. Research on "elderspeak" finds that people unconsciously simplify language, slow speech, and raise pitch when addressing older adults regardless of actual ability. These micro-behaviors convert competence into a conditional attribute tied to age, altering identity and social standing. The cumulative effect undermines autonomy, dignity, and participation, suggesting a need for greater awareness and more respectful everyday practices toward older adults.

Read at Silicon Canals