"Limerence is often mistaken for love because it carries emotional intensity without emotional grounding. It feels urgent, consuming, and meaningful, even when there is little real relational contact. People experiencing limerence often describe a powerful sense of certainty: This matters. This person matters. This connection is important. That conviction can be deeply confusing, particularly when the relationship itself is ambiguous, inconsistent, or largely imagined."
"Psychologically, limerence is not sustained by intimacy. It is sustained by uncertainty. When access to another person is intermittent, the nervous system becomes sensitised. Small signals are amplified. Meaning is assigned where clarity is absent. Desire fills the space that mutuality would normally occupy. Intensity is not evidence of depth, but the mind frequently treats it as such. Strong feeling is interpreted as truth. Longing is confused with compatibility. The absence of reciprocity can paradoxically strengthen attachment rather than weaken it."
Limerence produces intense, consuming feelings that lack emotional grounding and can be mistaken for love. The state creates a powerful conviction that a person or connection matters, even when relational contact is minimal, ambiguous, or inconsistent. The driving mechanism is uncertainty rather than intimacy: intermittent access sensitizes the nervous system, amplifies small signals, and fills absence of clarity with meaning and desire. Strong intensity is often misread as depth or compatibility, and lack of reciprocity can paradoxically strengthen attachment. Early attachment vulnerabilities make uncertainty familiar and compelling. Naming limerence reduces shame and enables targeted treatment and regulation strategies.
Read at Psychology Today
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