"This was the main question of a study led by psychologist Lydia Woodyatt of Flinders University in Australia. In order to pursue this inquiry, she and her research team recruited 80 individuals, split between those who could and couldn't forgive themselves. Participants' perceived transgressions ranged from, for example, betrayal, neglect, infidelity, not living up to their own standards, and causing emotional harm to others."
"Each group was asked to recount an instance in which they were able to forgive themselves and another in which they were unable to forgive themselves. Follow-up questions included why they felt they needed to forgive themselves, strategies that worked, how they felt about the transgression at the time of the interview, and so forth. From there, the investigators analyzed participants' answers for themes-and the results were striking. The analysis yielded four overarching themes, which are summarized below."
"For those who had difficulty forgiving themselves, the transgression felt very present despite the passage of time. For example, one interviewee, who shared that her daughter had been bullied at school, reflected: "It is a raw feeling. Just like it happened yesterday, but I moved my daughter four years ago." Reexperiencing the event and living with the consequences of a past transgression in the present day (e.g., financial loss) also made self-forgiveness harder."
Self-forgiveness involves taking responsibility for wrongdoing and releasing the associated negative feelings. Eighty individuals were recruited, divided between those who could and could not forgive themselves, and reported transgressions including betrayal, neglect, infidelity, failing personal standards, and emotional harm. Participants recounted one instance they forgave and one they could not, and answered follow-up questions about motives, successful strategies, and current feelings. Thematic analysis produced four overarching themes. Difficulty forgiving correlated with transgressions feeling experientially present despite elapsed time and with trouble accepting responsibility. Those who enacted self-forgiveness were more present- and future-focused and experienced fewer intrusive thoughts and intense emotions.
#self-forgiveness #memory-and-intrusive-thoughts #agency-and-responsibility #avoidance-and-rumination
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