"Scientists define the stages of life in biological, societal, and chronological terms—but none of them quite capture what it's like to grow up. People have a habit of dividing life into segments. The psychologist Jean Piaget argued that children go through four stages of cognitive development. Biologists describe turning points in the aging process as though they're cliffs from which we're doomed to fall; at roughly forty-four and sixty years of age, for example, distinct waves of molecular changes seem to increase our risk of many diseases."
"After my wedding, this past October, people started asking me: Do you feel different? Does life feel different? I hadn't considered marriage the start of a new life stage, so I wasn't sure how to respond. My husband and I had been dating seriously since soon after we met, and we already lived together. We got married, honestly, because it seemed romantic. But these questions made it sound like I had signed up for a transformation."
Life is commonly divided into distinct stages through various frameworks—psychological development theories like Piaget's cognitive stages, biological markers such as molecular changes at specific ages, and cultural milestones like marriage. However, these scientific and societal definitions often miss the subjective reality of personal growth. The author explores how major life events, including marriage, don't always feel like transformative moments despite external expectations. Different people experience age-related pressures and transitions at varying intensities, from career decisions at twenty-five to relationship changes at forty. The disconnect between predetermined life stages and individual experience reveals that growing up involves complexities beyond measurable markers.
Read at The New Yorker
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