The immoral, unthinkable' political dispute rupturing a friendship requires a delicate therapeutic approach I Bianca Denny

"It's immoral, unthinkable, intolerable. I can't continue a friendship with someone like that. Sam and Chris* had weathered disagreements over the course of their decade-long friendship. But Chris's decision to not join their broader friendship group at a protest caused a rupture that, in Sam's eyes, was irreparable. Disagreements between friends are as old as friendship itself. But the frequency and ferocity of discord seem to have grown exponentially amid current geopolitical crises and the avalanche of social stressors."

"Our threshold to withstand differences or to work through these in a constructive manner seems at a low ebb. Sam's resolute stance on the protest was not surprising, given his strong interest in politics. Still, thoughts of abruptly ending the friendship with Chris seemed out of character. The issue of the protest seemed so dominant that it was difficult for Sam to consider other aspects of Chris and their friendship."

"I wondered if parts work might be helpful in clarifying Sam's thoughts and feelings about the friendship. This therapy approach, based on internal family systems, recognises the complexity of the human psyche by acknowledging the separate but interconnected parts of the self. All individuals contain multitudes; some aspects of the self are congruent and support each other, but others are invariably in conflict and at times may seem irreconcilable."

A political disagreement over attendance at a protest led one friend to call the other immoral and consider ending a decade-long friendship. Increasing geopolitical crises and social stressors are intensifying the frequency and ferocity of disputes among friends. Emotional reactions and a narrowed focus on the contentious issue made it difficult to see broader aspects of the relationship. Suggestions to let go or agree to disagree increased frustration. Parts work, derived from Internal Family Systems, frames people as composed of multiple, sometimes conflicting, inner parts. Applying parts work can clarify competing impulses, reduce impulsive ruptures, and offer pathways to preserve or repair friendships.

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