"How do we measure up-financially, career- wise, academically, by the number or type of cars, and even the size of our homes? The list is endless. It takes effort to notice when we're doing this-and even more to turn away and stay on track. If we know that these things are not truly a measure of our success, why do we keep doing it? What do we need to remember? Why does someone else's win so often feel like our loss?"
"Comparison has a way of convincing us that life is a zero-sum game-if someone else has more, we must have less. It taps into our deepest insecurities, the voice that wonders, "Am I good enough?" Sometimes, it gives us the illusion of control, as if keeping up and keeping score will protect us from our own disappointment in ourselves. Other times, we use comparison to validate our worth or to push ourselves to achieve more."
People compare themselves across finances, careers, academics, possessions, and housing, often automatically. Noticing and stopping comparison requires conscious effort. Comparison convinces people that life is zero-sum and triggers insecurity and self-doubt. Comparison can create an illusion of control through keeping score, or serve to validate worth and motivate achievement. Cultural scripts equate worth with possessions, status, and achievements, reinforcing comparison. Comparison informs belonging and identity by showing where someone fits among peers, offering reassurance but also constraining behavior. In fertility struggles, comparison magnifies fears and can have significant emotional cost. Holding opposites can open a transcendent pause and enable freer responses.
Read at Psychology Today
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