Experts Say It's the Key to a Well-Adjusted Child. I Tried for Years. This Holiday Season, I Encourage You to Give Up.

"I was once an aspiring minimalist mom who believed that children should have very few toys. If they had to be given stacking rings or a baby doll, it should be made of high-quality, heirloom materials. I planned small-scale "no gift" birthday parties, bought expensive merino wool onesies, gave my daughter beautiful wooden toys, and browbeat her grandparents into my no-plastic-shit purchasing mindset. I did it all!"

"Then my child got older. It turns out my 8-year-old loves buying toys, thinking about buying toys, pocketing the free toys given out at the bank or the car dealership, and trading toys with her friends. A consumerist streak developed even though she has no contact with Online, except whatever happens when YouTube creeps into her third grade classroom. But when friends come over to visit, I overhear her unconsciously doing a very good imitation of an influencer showing off a haul."

"I was told by Montessori, Waldorf, and Simplicity Parenting that children were natural minimalists, but whatever values I tried to impart by surrounding her with only the good stuff when she was a toddler and preschooler seem to have failed to take root. So I was in a good-bad?-position to get annoyed by the parents in the recent Cut piece by Emi Nietfeld who profess that they will not give their kids any gifts this holiday season."

I once pursued minimalist parenting, favoring few, high-quality toys, no-plastic policies, small no-gift parties, and heirloom clothing. My child grew into an 8-year-old who loves buying and trading toys, collecting free promotional items, and staging influencer-style hauls for friends. A clear consumerist streak emerged despite limited online access, with YouTube influences in school as a possible exception. Montessori, Waldorf, and Simplicity Parenting principles had suggested children are natural minimalists, but the curated early years did not prevent this shift. Parents publicly committing to no-gift holidays mostly have children five and under, prompting frustration and reevaluation.

Read at Slate Magazine