"We've all been there: mid-story, mid-vent, mid-enthusiastic ramble, and suddenly the other person's energy shifts. Their smile fades. Their eyes wander down to their phone. Their whole body seems to quietly scream: "Please stop." Most of us don't realize when we're annoying someone. We just think we're being ourselves. We might think we're offering the type of advice our spouse really needs to hear right now."
"We think sharing our story from last night's gym session is just as funny to our friend as it was to us. Or we might (wrongly) assume that filling the silence with the latest story about our cat is a welcomed icebreaker for our co-workers in the break room. But what might feel normal or relieving to us can feel like irritation to another."
Many people fail to notice when their behavior annoys others because they assume they are simply being themselves. Casual advice, repetitive stories, or attempts to fill silence can be received as irritating rather than helpful. Annoyance rarely appears in explicit words; it manifests through subtle nonverbal cues such as facial expressions, eye-rolling, looking away, shifts in posture, changes in tone, and reduced attention. Politeness often prevents direct feedback, so these quiet signals can be more honest than spoken complaints. Missing these cues can lead to continued social friction and further alienation of friends, family, and colleagues.
Read at HuffPost
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