8 phrases people use when they've learned to expect disappointment - Silicon Canals

"You know that feeling when someone says "I'll try" and you already know they won't follow through? Or when a friend responds to your exciting news with "That's nice, but don't get your hopes up"? I've been noticing these phrases everywhere lately. They slip into conversations at coffee shops, work meetings, even family dinners. At first, I thought people were just being cautious or realistic. But then I realized something deeper was happening. These weren't just words; they were shields."

"When my father used to come home from work, he'd often say, "Another day, another disappointment." It took me years to understand that this wasn't about his job. It was about how repeated letdowns had rewired his expectations. After watching him get passed over for promotions he deserved, I saw how disappointment can become so familiar that we start building our entire vocabulary around it."

"1) "I'm not getting my hopes up" This one hits close to home. I used to say it all the time when submitting articles to major publications. "I'm not getting my hopes up" became my mantra before every pitch, every interview, every opportunity. But here's what's really happening when we say this: we're trying to preemptively cushion the blow. Psychology researchers call this " defensive pessimism," where we lower our expectations to protect ourselves from potential disappointment. It's like wearing emotional bubble wrap."

Common phrases such as 'I'll try' and 'I'm not getting my hopes up' function as psychological shields that guard against disappointment. Repeated letdowns can rewire expectations, making pessimistic language habitual. Defensive pessimism lowers anticipated outcomes to cushion emotional blows, but also reduces commitment and effort toward opportunities. This mindset can weaken performance and dilute the quality of attempts by encouraging half-hearted engagement. Protective language becomes part of everyday vocabulary across social situations, from coffee shops to family dinners. Recognizing these patterns reveals how emotional armor shapes behavior and limits full investment in potential successes.

Read at Silicon Canals