5 Growth Trajectories That Don't Exist

"Many readers who come to Psychology Today value growth. You value pursuing goals, improving skills, and achieving hard things. Intellectually, you understand that you become mentally stronger by surmounting new challenges. However, in reality, your experience might be that growth and progression don't feel that good, and fill you with doubt. People often want to trade effort and research for a smooth progression, without inefficiencies, mistakes, and uncomfortable feelings."

"Thinking or trying harder can never produce a flawlessly smooth experience of learning a skill or pursuing a goal. When we expect that growth will look and feel one way, and it doesn't, we can interpret it as negative feedback, like we're failing or "getting it all wrong" in how we're pursuing our goals. The mismatch between reality and expectations puts us off keeping going, makes us feel anxious and demoralized, and can sabotage our efforts."

"When we playfully recognize growth trajectories that simply don't exist, even though we'd like them to, we can reassure ourselves it's worth keeping going. We should keep attempting action, not revert to endless thinking and hesitation. 1. Growth That Happens Without Asking "Stupid" Questions It's normal to ask questions and either immediately think "I should've known that" or months later in retrospect realize you asked a classic newbie question that now feels embarrassing."

Growth is inherently bumpy and requires inefficiencies, mistakes, and learning. Goal pursuit functions as a process of learning about oneself and adjusting behavior based on new information. Expecting smooth, flawless progress creates a mismatch between expectations and reality that can generate doubt, anxiety, demoralization, and sabotage. People often attempt to avoid discomfort through overplanning, excessive research, or avoiding questions, but thinking or trying harder cannot eliminate the bumps. Effective progress requires continuing action, embracing mistakes as informative, asking questions freely, and accepting that unforeseen problems will arise and must be managed through ongoing adaptation.

Read at Psychology Today