"It is rare for my wife and I to do a midweek dog walk together, but on this particular afternoon I find myself at a loose end, and volunteer to come along. Joint walks require a bit of negotiation: my wife expects a minimum level of conversation, which is not a normal feature of my weekday afternoon. To solve this, we take turns delivering monologues"
"I get behind an oak and hold my breath, imagining the imminent approach of someone we don't like. But when I peer round the tree, it becomes apparent we're hiding from the dog. Really? I say. Ssh! my wife says. The dog is about 50 metres ahead of us, lapping at a puddle. Suddenly she looks up in a panic, and then goes haring off across a field in pursuit of a strange woman. When she is close enough to realise the woman is not"
A man volunteers for a rare midweek walk with his wife and their dog. They negotiate conversation by taking turns delivering complaint monologues, with the wife going first. During the walk the wife thanks him for listening and demands his 'podcast' about email problems. She suddenly hides behind an oak to avoid the dog, prompting a playful game of hide-and-seek when the dog chases a stranger before circling and joyfully returning. The dog leaps and twists in relief when it finds the wife. The couple uses this practice as part of training to keep the dog within their orbit, and the dog earned a basic 'Completed' certificate from dog school.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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