Women Who Used To Want Kids But Don't Anymore Are Sharing The Moments That Made Them Go "NOPE!"

"I honestly only ever thought I wanted children when I was in relationships. We would discuss children at that stage of the relationship where you're asking, 'What's next?' Going through a breakup, I always noticed that my desire for children would disappear with my partner. It made me realize that I only want kids because it's something that my partner/society wanted. When I actually sit there and think about it as my single self, I have no desire for children. I genuinely cannot even imagine them in my future."

"I thought I wanted kids until I was about 12. Then I started babysitting and realized... absolutely not. That, plus my mom always wishing that I would have 'a child who makes me as miserable as I made her.' I'm 41 now, married, and sterilized. Wasn't that always the threat? 'I can't wait until you have a daughter so I can laugh when she screams at you that she hates you,' and 'Think long and hard about having kids because *extremely long pause* you can't take it back.' Direct quotes from my mom."

"My mom died when I was 25 after a very long illness, and then I went no contact with my dad at 29. At 30, mid-pandemic and in a new city where I knew no one except for my now-husband, I finally realized that my lifelong dream of having kids was probably not realistic for me, given that we had no family help and I travel for business. My husband was incredibly supportive and fully agreed. Now, we have one rescue dog who makes our family beyond complete, and I'm a proud aunt to the best little niece ever."

People often reconsider the desire for children after observing negative effects on friends' health, relationships, careers, and happiness. Desire for children frequently aligns with relationship status and disappears after breakups, revealing motivations tied to partners or societal expectations. Early caregiving experiences, parental cruelty or pressure, and direct threats about parenthood can dissuade people from wanting children. Loss of family support, caregiving burdens, and careers involving travel make parenthood impractical for some. Many substitute pets or close extended-family roles, such as becoming an aunt, and some choose permanent sterilization when certain that parenthood is unwanted.

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