"You snap at your child over something tiny: They won't stop asking questions while you're trying to think. They're taking forever to put on their shoes. They're resisting toothbrushing. Again. And you feel terrible for snapping at them. Again. Maybe you believe that good parents sacrifice everything for their children. That putting yourself first is selfish. That if you just tried harder...had more patience...were a better person...you wouldn't lose it over something so small."
"She'd packed snacks for both of them, but she was still hungry - really hungry, the kind where your blood sugar is dropping and everything starts to feel hard. Iris asked her toddler for some of the snacks. Malaya said, "No." Wouldn't share. Then a crow swooped in, knocked over the container, and all the food spilled onto the ground. Iris told me she felt a hot rage coming up from her gut."
Parental burnout produces cortisol stress levels higher than those seen in chronic pain and narrows a parent's window of tolerance, making ordinary child behaviors feel unbearable. Hunger, sleep loss, and chronic unmet needs prime primal reactions and increase irritability, shame, and guilt. Cultural and community context strongly shapes prevalence, with up to 9% in Euro-centric societies versus under 1% where community support is strong. Meeting parental needs restores capacity to respond calmly. Practical supports, mutual aid, and parent self-care reduce burnout and protect parent-child relationships.
Read at Psychology Today
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