"Birthdays are usually depicted as happy celebrations with loved ones gathered, a cake, gifts, laughter, and, if it's a child's birthday, games and balloons. Even when resources are low, as they are for many people these days, something-no matter how minimal-is often done. If you look on social media, you see all the photos of these eventsl, with everyone smiling and close."
"Your child's birthday makes the absence of a loved one(s) more palpable and painful-for you and/or your child, especially if no one is prepared for it. Sometimes this begins even a few weeks before the actual date. Your child may have expectations that are not met-and sometimes you aren't clearly aware of those expectations until they are disappointed when the day comes."
Birthdays often appear as joyful gatherings with cake, gifts, and smiling photos that set perceived standards. Social media images can amplify expectations and create pressure. Birthdays can make the absence of a loved one more noticeable and painful for both parents and children, sometimes surfacing weeks beforehand. Children can hold expectations that go unspoken and become disappointed when those expectations are unmet. Birthdays can also stir deep longing to be recognized and differing ideas about how love should be shown. Checking in with oneself and with the child about feelings and desires can help increase joy and reduce hurt.
Read at Psychology Today
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