When Sliced Fruit Isn't an Apology

"In many Asian households, love and repair weren't always spoken-they were implied, indirect, and often left for us to interpret. This isn't what I advise for the next generation of Asian parents."

"If an apology did happen, it didn't happen with words. It came on a plate of sliced fruit. The fruit was the apology-because the words 'I'm sorry' rarely came."

"What happened when my wife apologized to him was using real words to match his experience of hurt. She gave him what so many of my clients are still grieving."

In many Asian households, apologies often lack verbal acknowledgment, relying instead on indirect gestures like offering fruit. This can leave emotional needs unmet. A recent experience illustrated the importance of direct communication when a mother apologized to her son for calling him a 'fool.' By acknowledging his feelings and separating his identity from his actions, she fostered a healthier emotional connection. This approach contrasts with traditional practices where expressing emotions was discouraged, highlighting the need for open dialogue in parenting.

Read at Psychology Today