"In my work in the trenches with families, I gain insight into the underlying meaning of a child's behavior and what they need to overcome a challenging situation or difficult feelings. Often, what ends up being most sensitive and effective is counter to popular parenting strategies, ala this common scenario: Parents finding that when they cheer their children on, hoping to motivate them through a hard thing, it has the opposite effect-their kids get more agitated."
"I was slipping and sliding, leaning way too forward (trying to edge on powder is disastrous!), and falling flat on my face, soaked to the bone.My well-meaning friends were all, "You can do it, Claire! You've got this! Powder is the best-you're going to love it!" as they gracefully glided down the slope.What they clearly intended as support was experienced by me as added stress. I was already feeling inept and embarrassed."
Cheerleading children to motivate them through difficult tasks can backfire for highly sensitive kids by increasing their stress and agitation. Highly sensitive children often feel anxious about perceived failure and interpret enthusiastic encouragement as confirmation that they are disappointing their parents. Validation of their feelings and providing space to process difficult emotions is often more effective and compassionate. A ski anecdote illustrates how well-intended cheerleading can amplify embarrassment, paralysis, and perceived failure when a person already feels inept. Practical parenting should prioritize understanding underlying meaning of behaviors and tailoring responses to reduce pressure rather than increase it.
Read at Psychology Today
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]