"There can be loss of initiative as they feel the teenager is driving the family show, and they are reduced to following. They are reduced to reactive parenting, on constant watch for what trouble the young person is going to get into that will dictate what they have to do next: "We keep waiting for the next crisis before deciding what to do!""
"There can be loss of perspective as parental perception becomes distorted. They are reduced to identifying the person with the problem, less able to see the teenager in fully human terms, less able to focus on strengths than to preoccupy with her or his weaknesses, losing grounds for hope: "We only see crisis and worse to come!" Parents need to communicate that any teenage problem is only a small part of a large person."
"Parents need to communicate that any teenage problem is only a small part of a large person, and although some conduct may be going wrong, a lot is going right. There can be a loss of responsibility as parents blame their mental and emotional state on the teenager. They are reduced to emotionally victimizing themselves on the young person's behalf, as though she or he is now in charge of their feelings: "We are constantly made miserable by his behavior!""
Parents who feel driven "crazy" by a teenager are experiencing internal distress rather than a primary adolescent disorder. They can lose initiative, becoming reactive and waiting for crises instead of asserting rules and expectations that allow the teen to choose to follow family structure. They can lose perspective, focusing on problems and weaknesses and neglecting strengths, which erodes hope. They can lose responsibility, blaming the teen for parental emotions and emotionally victimizing themselves. Restoring clear authority, communicating that problematic conduct is only a small part of a larger person, and owning parental feelings help reestablish healthy family bearings.
Read at Psychology Today
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]