What to Do When You Don't Like Your Kid's Friends

"The stakes can feel enormous. Peer influence is real and powerful, and it shifts dramatically during the teenage years. When children are young, they spend most of their time in smaller, more supervised worlds-at home with family and at school with teachers who keep a close eye on them. But as kids move into adolescence and gain more independence, friends start mattering more, filling the space previously held by parents and teachers"

"Last spring, the distressed mother of a middle schooler sat in my office. "I feel like I've lost my daughter," she said. "Ever since she started hanging out with those girls, she's become a different person." She told me how her daughter had become obsessed with her appearance, was constantly on her phone, and had lied about doing her schoolwork. "I want to tell her she can't see them," the mother said, "but I'm afraid that will only make things worse.""

A childhood anecdote describes two children building a makeshift flamethrower and other risky inventions, exemplifying early peer-driven mischief. The narrator recounts recess schemes like converting a broken turntable into a roulette wheel and notes the friendship faded after sixth grade. A parent reports a middle-schooler becoming appearance-focused, phone-obsessed, and dishonest after new friends influenced her. Parents confront the dilemma of restricting friendships versus pushing the child away. Peer influence intensifies during adolescence as independence grows and supervision decreases, shifting social authority from parents and teachers toward peers. Educators monitor creative, devious behavior and anticipate parental concern during school transitions.

Read at The Atlantic