"When couples arrive at the fork in the road of using an egg or sperm donor to complete their family, it is usually with a heavy dose of exhaustion, grief, relief, and curiosity. After a few moments of grace, it's often curiosity that breathes new life into the donor journey-giving couples a future to imagine and helping them move forward, rather than being held back by the uncertainty and anxiety of the past."
""Choosing a donor can feel like a double-edged sword. On one hand, I like the idea of a known, proven donor, someone who's donated eggs before, but on the other hand, when I look at all the live births, I get really scared about donor siblings. I mean, I've just adjusted to this idea of using donor eggs, and I know I've got tons to learn. The thought of dealing with donor siblings and explaining all of that feels totally insurmountable. I worry about judgment from my family and friends, too. Like, am I nuts to do this when there are all these other half-sibs out there?!" - Rachael"
"One of the biggest fears is: What does it all mean? Will our lives suddenly be intruded upon by others who may differ from us socially, economically, politically, or academically? How much influence will these diblings have over my child? Will my child drift away and love them more? Do I now have to interact with people I don't want to?"
Couples considering egg or sperm donation commonly experience exhaustion, grief, relief, and curiosity as they decide how to build their families. Curiosity can renew hope and enable families to imagine a future beyond past uncertainty and anxiety. Choosing a donor often sparks complex concerns about known donors and the existence of donor siblings. Parents may fear social, economic, political, or academic differences, influence on the child, or judgment from others. Naming and discussing these fears and learning the language around donor siblings helps parents prepare and supports future choices about contact if the child seeks it.
Read at Psychology Today
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