"First, I want to tell you that I've been there. Sometimes, as you're discovering, there really isn't much to do except take a break or sit things out if that's what your kid needs. In those cases, I would suggest that if you have a co-parent, the two of you take turns hanging out with your child so that it's not always you missing out on the chance for community."
"For me, the real test of a school or a community isn't how they treat my more neurotypical child, who is going to be comfortable and know how to act and therefore be easily accepted in most environments; it's whether they choose to see and make space for my autistic child. This means that I've often been disappointed, if I am honest. But I've also been very lucky to find spaces where both my kids can be themselves, get what they need, and find acceptance."
Parents of children who need extra support can take turns with a co-parent to avoid one parent repeatedly missing community interactions. Community inclusion should be judged by whether spaces see and make room for autistic children, not by how they accommodate neurotypical kids. Some environments can be modified to reduce sensory overload or crowding and make participation easier. Accepting occasional withdrawal or choosing quieter locations can prevent meltdowns while preserving parental wellbeing. Seeking out inclusive groups where both children can be themselves increases acceptance and access to supports and social connections.
Read at Slate Magazine
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