"He worked hard but did nothing else: I managed our household, our kids, and all the regular life stuff for him, too, like his family, his doctor, his clothes. We rarely had time together, and I felt alone in our marriage, like I was doing all the "work" without any of the joy or companionship. My career also took a backseat."
"Having the kids half the time is way easier than what I was doing before, even though I don't have access to the same money. I'm enjoying time with my kids that doesn't feel like a forced march, and my career is blooming. It's been an adjustment for our kids, but ultimately they love being with their cousins and having three adults who love them around."
One parent took a short-term, high-stress, high-earning job while the other managed the household, children, and daily logistics, sacrificing career and companionship. After four years the high-earner declined to shift to a less demanding role and the couple divorced with 50/50 custody. The primary caregiver moved in with a sibling and runs a shared household, finding half-time parenting more sustainable and experiencing career growth despite lower disposable income. The children adapted to cousins and extra adults. The former high-earner later faced performance problems, moved to a lower-paying job, and the children now return from visits anxious about money.
Read at Slate Magazine
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