"For spirited children, and I believe to the benefit of all children, it is essential to not only calm the child's arousal system in that moment, but to prevent the challenging behaviors in the first place by bringing calm to their daily life. That calming presence in the day is structure. Structure is the ally and the defense team. It is the predictable routines, consistent rules, and expectations that allow everyone to know what to expect."
"The idea of bringing structure into the day may feel overwhelming because every day seems different. It is true, activities, appointments, or commitments undoubtedly do vary each day, but the core remains the same. On any given day, unless there is illness or an emergency, there are things we always do. We wake, get ready, eat meals, go out the door, return home, turn electronics off and on, do chores, and go to bed."
Repeated challenging behaviors exhaust adults and strain relationships when responses focus only on momentary flare-ups. Preventing outbursts requires calming the child's arousal system across the day through predictable routines, consistent rules, and clear expectations. Structure reduces the frequency, intensity, and duration of difficult moments by aligning everyone on the same plan rather than relying on punishment. Core daily activities—waking, getting ready, meals, leaving, returning, managing electronics, chores, and bedtime—provide anchors for routine. Adequate sleep and structured bedtime and morning routines protect rest and ensure children are ready for the day without being woken.
Read at Psychology Today
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