"In third grade she routinely had my daughter in tears with socially aggressive behavior. Now they are in sixth grade, and since they live on neighboring streets, they often walk home together from the bus stop. Rebecca still is often cruel to my daughter, and I've been working with my daughter on things to say and do in response. At her age, I feel she needs to start to stand up for herself, and she's tentatively beginning to do so."
"However, I also have a 9-year-old son, and when Rebecca is over, she can be cruel to him as well, being rough with him and then mocking him for crying. I have told my daughter she cannot have Rebecca over after school because of this, but she can't or won't draw a hard line. I have a really hard time looking at this girl and saying, "You're not welcome in my house.""
A neighborhood child named Rebecca has repeatedly behaved cruelly toward two children, causing emotional and physical distress and prompting restrictions on visits. The parent feels compassion for Rebecca because of her unstable home life but struggles to exclude her. Maintaining clear expectations and enforcing behavioral standards protects the children while communicating care and respect. Teaching genuine boundaries supports the harmed children and models accountability for Rebecca. Compassion and firm limits can coexist: protecting the harmed children is paramount, and offering support to a troubled peer does not require tolerating abusive conduct.
Read at Slate Magazine
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