Alabama teacher Ashlyn Cooke warns that when parents immediately defend their child instead of acknowledging potential behavioral issues, it can signal trouble in the classroom. She believes that this undermines the child's responsibility and ability to respect authority. Cooke advocates for a partnership between parents and teachers, where they collectively set expectations with the child. This sentiment is supported by parenting expert Dr. Deborah Gilboa, who emphasizes that parental defensiveness teaches children to blame others rather than taking personal accountability, which could harm their social development and relationships.
"Parents, I am begging you to listen to me," Cooke pleaded in a TikTok video. "There is one thing that signals to me that your child is going to be a behavior problem in my class for the entire year."
"You are hurting your child by not making them take any responsibility," Cooke, 30, explained in the clip. "If that goal of creating a good person is not mutual between the teacher and the parent of the child, there's only so much teachers can do."
"But when you start with, 'Well, my child would never do that,' and you start attacking me - you are doing your child a disservice," Cooke tells TODAY.com. "You are teaching your child to disregard authority."
Dr. Deborah Gilboa states, "When we attack people who suggest that (our children) might have done something wrong, we teach them that if they are uncomfortable or unhappy, it's always someone else's fault."
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