"The HALT framework helps you identify the basic states that make everything harder. HALT stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired - and when you're in any of these states, your window of tolerance gets narrower. So before you can think about some elaborate self-care routine, start here: Physical needs: Do you have food that's actually easy to eat? Are you getting actual rest, or just scrolling through your phone?"
"Emotional needs: When was the last time another adult really saw you? Someone who actually asked how you're doing and listened to the answer? Connection needs: Brief conversations with people who get it can matter more than you think. Sometimes it's just being around other people who treat you like a person instead of just someone's parent. Autonomy: Do you get to make any choices about your own time? Even small ones help - choosing what to eat, when to go to bed,"
Unmet basic needs narrow the window of tolerance and increase irritability. The HALT framework—Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired—identifies states that make parenting harder. Physical needs include accessible food, real rest, and movement that feels good. Emotional needs involve being seen and heard by another adult. Connection needs are brief conversations or being around people who treat parents as persons. Autonomy involves small choices about daily life. Small, concrete changes—reducing decisions, batch cooking, laying out clothes, and creating simple routines—preserve energy. Short, consistent focused interactions, such as ten minutes of daily play, build connection more reliably than unpredictable longer sessions.
Read at Psychology Today
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