"The "but" is the problem. As the great philosopher Pee-Wee Herman once said, "Everyone I know has a big 'but.'" "It's not about the Barbies. The problem here is guilt," says Eve Rodsky, the author of "Fair Play" and "Find Your Unicorn Space," which is all about making time for creativity and your own passion projects as an adult. " Mother's guilt, and not feeling like you're enough as a parent.""
"In 1965, moms spent an average of 54 minutes caring for children, according to the Pew Research Center; by the 2000s, moms were spending 104 minutes a day on childcare. So it's not that we're comparing ourselves to our moms and grandmoms. We're comparing ourselves to some Betty Crocker-tradwife influencer aspirational fantasy that doesn't really exist. No wonder moms feel like we don't measure up!"
"You can do all the things as a mother, but if you don't play Barbies with genuine enthusiasm, you feel like a failure. That's pretty wild, isn't it? In 1965, moms spent an average of 54 minutes caring for children, according to the Pew Research Center; by the 2000s, moms were spending 104 minutes a day on childcare. So it's not that we're comparing ourselves to our moms and grandmoms."
Many parents deeply love their children but resent certain repetitive caregiving tasks, leading to guilt when enthusiasm feels performative. Societal expectations and idealized parenting fantasies increase pressure on mothers to be constantly available and enthusiastic, narrowing acceptable roles to parent, partner, or professional. Time spent on childcare has increased significantly since the 1960s, intensifying comparisons to unrealistic standards. The resulting guilt stems from believing there is no permission to be unavailable for caregiving, which undermines personal creativity and the ability to claim private time.
Read at TODAY.com
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