"My close friends have several kids who are generally "OK" as kids. I've had some fun conversations with the kids as they've grown but my issue is one of the kids ("Alex") was babied (parents acknowledged this) and her behavior has really gotten out of hand. Think weaponized incompetence, neediness, unhelpful most of the time accompanied by extreme attitude and yelling at the parents when asked to do something she doesn't want to do, often relies on their other siblings to do things for them-and she's the oldest!"
"First of all, a child is not capable of "weaponized incompetence'-not even someone who is "almost a teen." Whatever is going on with Alex, her behavior is not premeditated or the result of the parents' "babying" her. "Extreme attitude and yelling at the parents when asked to do something she doesn't want to do" sounds a lot like demand avoidance, something"
A child cannot deliberately weaponize incompetence; oppositional outbursts and yelling often resemble demand avoidance rather than calculated manipulation. Demand avoidance can stem from anxiety, autism, ADHD, sensory differences, or other neurodivergent traits that make direct requests overwhelming. Parental over-helping can inadvertently reinforce dependence and make corrective change difficult. Effective approaches center on reducing direct demands, offering choices, avoiding power struggles, establishing consistent boundaries, and seeking professional assessment and supports when needed. Friends can model healthier interactions, offer practical assistance to caregivers, and set personal limits to respect their partner’s comfort.
Read at Slate Magazine
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]