Nobody talks about why men in their thirties who are about to become fathers suddenly start calling their own dad more often - it's not closeness, it's an audit, they're going through every memory trying to separate what to repeat from what to bury and the silence between the calls is where most of the work is happening - Silicon Canals

"Growing up in Melbourne with two brothers, I thought I had a pretty clear picture of my childhood. Good times, tough times, the usual family dynamics. But pregnancy has this way of turning you into an archaeologist of your own past. Suddenly, I'm remembering random Saturday mornings when my dad would wake us up early for fishing trips we didn't want to go on."

"Each memory gets sorted into one of two piles: things I want to carry forward, and things that end with me. The Buddhist concept of karma isn't just about cosmic justice - it's about patterns. Becoming a father forces you to confront which patterns you're going to pass on."

"Here's what really gets me: it's not the phone calls themselves where the real work happens. It's the quiet moments afterward, sitting with what was said and what wasn't."

When learning of his wife's pregnancy, the author experienced an unexpected urge to reconnect with his father, initiating a deeper examination of his own childhood memories. This process of archaeological self-discovery revealed that most men in their thirties undergo similar introspection when approaching fatherhood. Rather than seeking advice, the author was conducting an inventory of his past—sorting memories into patterns he wants to continue and those he wants to end. Drawing on Buddhist concepts of karma, he explores how behavioral patterns are inherited like genetic code. The real transformation occurs not during conversations but in the quiet moments of reflection afterward, where individuals confront what was said and unsaid in their relationships.

Read at Silicon Canals