"I'd also reiterate here why exactly his clown hijinks were cruel and not "fun." While he was having a laugh, his sister was terrified. Empathy can be hard, so you might have to stay on that point for a bit with him. It's not fair to make his sister uncomfortable, to have her looking around corners, waiting for a jump scare."
"Don't wait for his next offense, go get it right now. I personally think it should go straight in the bin. You should tell him why you're taking it away. Explain that you are just worried sick about how mean he's been to his sister. Tell him that since the consequences you'd set for him-the time outs, the screen rules-have not deterred him, you're now taking his ability to terrorize her as a clown out of his hands completely."
Remove the clown costume and any props that enable the teasing immediately. Explain the removal as protection from harmful behavior and state that previous consequences failed to deter the child. Emphasize that frightening a sibling causes real terror and ongoing anxiety, and practice empathy through perspective-taking and role-reversal exercises. Require a sincere apology and reparative actions toward the frightened sibling. Set clear, predictable boundaries and enforce consequences directly tied to the transgression. Supervise interactions and allow gradual, consent-based play if both children agree. Provide alternative outlets for humor and attention, and seek professional help if the behavior persists.
Read at Slate Magazine
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