"The problem is that Kenny is around ALL. THE. TIME. when they aren't in school. It's like he thinks he lives here. He's not rude and is well-behaved, but it would be nice not to have a third kid (I have a 5-year-old daughter as well) always around. His parents are divorced, and his mom is at work a lot, but I think she is trying to use us for free child care."
"Hmmm, so I can't tell you how to feel, and I want to respect your feelings because being a parent is a lot of work! I understand that not everyone wants to take on extra childcare responsibilities and any added stress. But, as a huge believer in community and someone who thinks that the adage "it takes a village to raise a child" is something to live by, I encourage you to reframe your thinking about the situation."
An eight-year-old named Gary has a friend, Kenny, who spends most non-school hours at Gary's house, creating a sense of constant presence and involuntary babysitting. Kenny's parents are divorced and his mother works long, irregular hours and is hard to contact. Gary's household includes a five-year-old daughter and a husband who believes hosting Kenny is helpful. Parental feelings about workload and boundaries are acknowledged and validated. Reframing the situation as part of community childcare is recommended, emphasizing the adage "it takes a village to raise a child," while also recognizing the desire for uninterrupted family time.
Read at Slate Magazine
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