My Mother's New Fixation Is Terrifying My Daughter. She's Got to Stop.

"I'm with your husband: I think a timeout from letting your mom terrify your daughter on this topic is totally warranted, actually! You need to have two conversations. First, you and your husband need to talk to Kayla seriously about death. I'm inferring that you've been pretty dismissive of her concerns thus far-of course Grandma is not going to die! But one day, Grandma going to die."

"It is objectively true that your mom does not have as much time left to live as time she has lived. Now is that the answer that Kayla needs to hear? It depends on her maturity. I think telling her that everyone dies, but it's going to be a long, long time before her grandmother dies is a reasonable approach."

A parent seeks advice about their mother's obsession with discussing her impending death to their 7-year-old daughter, causing the child significant distress and constant anxiety about the grandmother dying. The mother has repeatedly promised to stop but continues the behavior. The advice columnist supports implementing a timeout from visits if the grandmother won't cease this frightening talk. The columnist recommends two key conversations: first, parents should discuss death seriously with their daughter in an age-appropriate way, acknowledging that while everyone dies, the grandmother will likely live for many more years. Second, parents must establish firm boundaries with the grandmother about this topic.

Read at Slate Magazine