"What I saw when they exited her car had me seething: neither of the kids was in a car seat. When I asked Doris why this was the case, she tried to justify it by saying that her kids hadn't grown up with car seats past toddlerhood and "they were fine." I told her that either our kids use car seats when they ride in her car or they won't be riding with her at all."
"She became angry and drove off, giving me the finger as she left. By the time I got inside she was already on the phone with my husband, blasting me to him so loudly I could hear it from ten feet away. When I told my husband what happened, he actually took her side and said she had a point!"
"To be fair, by the time we're grandparents, I'm sure some other practices will have changed and we'll have to try not to say things like "we did it the old way and you were fine" to our kids. (I have faith in us!) Of course you're right that best practices evolve as technology advances and we learn more about safety, and car/booster seats should be nonnegotiable."
My mother-in-law transported two young children without car seats, prompting anger and a confrontation. The parent insisted that children must use car seats when riding with her, and the mother-in-law left angrily and later berated the parent to the spouse. The spouse sided with his mother, framing the issue as generational differences and urging an apology to restore family peace. Car and booster seats are nonnegotiable because safety knowledge and standards evolve. Maintaining firm boundaries, educating relatives with current safety facts and laws, and refusing transportation that ignores required child-restraint use are recommended responses.
Read at Slate Magazine
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